When I do the initial interview with a brand new client, I enjoy hearing "My husband (or wife) knows me better than I know myself." I learn two things from this: 1) Their life partner has invested a huge amount of time and effort to learn who they are and to fall in love with them. 2) My wonderful new client has got some self-discovery work to accomplish!
I've observed over the course of my career in business and executive coaching that there are those who become successful and those who do not. I've learned that the strongest leaders, savviest business executives and most effective parents have taken the time to get to know who they are at their core.
After all, how can you motivate another to do anything if you first do not know what makes you act, think and process information in the manner which you choose? When contacted 18 months ago to contribute to a new book on 'relationships' (A Guide to Getting It: Vibrant and Lasting Relationships,), I found it easy to develop the topic. I set out to write a chapter on how to enhance one's intimate relationship with himself or herself.
As I interviewed numerous people and delved more deeply into the topic, I discovered that if you are going to get to know yourself on this intimate level, then why not go all the way and fall in love with yourself. Those parents who told us not to 'toot our own horn' as we were growing up are rolling in their graves with this notice.
If you think of the pure concept of falling in love and take yourself out of it, the process comes more easily. First there is attraction, then curiosity, eagerness to spend time with the other person to learn more about them and your energy is ignited.
Why not start your year with this theme of falling in love with yourself? Can you achieve this goal and be a new you one year from right now? Happier, more fulfilled? Certainly more successful, effective and alive!
Begin with the concept of attraction. Look in the mirror for what others see in you. Look at those strong express eyes, well-earned laugh lines, and genuine smile. Why are you attracted to this person you see? What questions do you have? What motivates you to learn more?
Bring that supercharged energy of falling in love and curiosity to life. Drop your self-judgment and criticism. Replace it with a brand new sense of curiosity. It may look like this: "Is not it fascinating that I think this way, act this way, like this and dislike that?"
Next, write your own script. How do you create falling in love? Do you go snowshoeing, skiing, to movies, for long walks? Do you put on your favorite music, cook luscious meals and stay inside? Map out the activities you'll do this year to create a stronger more intimate relationship with "you."
Be the one individual who knows 'you' better than anyone else. Enjoy falling in love for the first time – with you!